The Having More Than One Dilema

Going into this two kids thing has been pretty much what I expected. Cookie has thrown some good tantrums the last three weeks. But they have gotten fewer. One unexpected bonus has been Cookie's sudden acceptance of peeing in the potty. She now wants to sit on the big potty, and wants privacy. She has actually taken ownership of it.

I have figured out how to give Cookie a bath and nurse. I have managed to put Cookie to bed while dealing with Jelly Bean. And I can go grocery shopping with both in tow. But one thing alludes me and it put me to tears the other day. After picking up the first swing in Greeley, I stopped by a park we had passed to let Cookie run off some energy and to nurse Jelly Bean. And I couldn't do both. I couldn't help Cookie climb the equipment, or negotiate a difficult task while nursing Jelly Bean. I couldn't run after Cookie up the hill or chase birds with her. Things we did in the past. Cookie was good natured about it, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. She lost her best friend and playmate. And I have lost that sweet little girl who trusted that her Mamma would be there to catch her no matter what. Now I am on a bench, nursing Jelly Bean yelling, "no don't climb that, it's too high" instead of helping her. So I cried. Cried that I couldn't give both my girls everything they both needed at the same moment. I am pretty sure that as they grow there will be many more moments where I have to decide who needs what the most. But it doesn't hurt any less to know that I am doing the best I can for both of them and it is still not enough.

It takes all kinds

So after the last swing fiasco, I decided to give Craigslist one more try. Hubby just wanted to go and buy a new swing. But, I found an even better one and I offered the girl only $10 more than the other swing cost. It was $15 less than she was asking, but she put in OBO, so if it didn't work out, then we'd go and get a new swing.

The seller accepted my bid and called me early this morning to arrange pick=up/drop-off. She said she had a meeting in town and she could drop it by. I suggested we meet at the local restaurant her meeting was at, since the girls and I were going to playgroup. (something I need to go to for me and Cookie). The girl said the swing did not have batteries in it since it also plugs in. I asked how many and what size, I would bring them, but I wanted to make sure the thing worked. Agreed. She did try to get me to go up in price, I refused. She then said that two of the Mobile toys were missing, but they had ordered more of them for $8 and she thought I should pay for them at least. I told her I really didn't care about the Mobile toys that all I wanted was something that went back and forth, so if she wanted to sell to someone else who was willing to pay more, then no problem. She replied, that she still wanted to sell to me.

So, I showed up on time to said restaurant, and two minutes later got a call from seller. She said she was on her way, but meeting had been changed to another restaurant down the street. I said I'd be glad to go there. Five minutes later we meet. Swing looks good, but seller says," do you happen to have a screwdriver? I forgot that I needed one for the batteries." Ummm, no I do not have a screwdriver, but if I was in Hubby's car I most likely would have had one. We tried to get them off w/ keys, but they were on too tight. Ten minutes later, I am still struggling to remove the battery cover. I tell her, "look if I can't tell if it works, then this is not a sale. You can sell to someone else if you prefer." She starts to panic, "maybe you can just buy it and if it doesn't work, e-mail me and I will give you your money back." I respond, "that's not good for me. Maybe said restaurant has an outlet out front we can use to plug this thing in." I look, they do. We drive the cars to the front of the building, plug it in and it works. Deal is made, money exchanged. She tells me that she will let me know when she gets the toys and we can arrange a pick-up or mail. I told her "no worries, no big deal. Thanks" It is now 30 minutes later than meet time. We go our separate ways.

Fast forward two hours I get the following e-mail:

i talked to my fionce and he said that because we sold the swing so cheap that you would have to order the mobile toys and he's gonna cancel the order, or you can buy those for the price of them and shipping. he said that the swing was in great condition and was sold for less than half of what we paid 5months ago. so i'm sorry i didn't let you know when i saw you, he just called me and let me know this. so i have your money so if this changes your mind let me know and i can give you your money back.
if you have any questions you can call me
thanks
becky

My reply:

I really do not need the extra mobile toys. These are one of the things that happens when one purchases off of Craigslist, which is why I was so adamant about checking to see if the swing actually worked. Your Fiance can rest easy, you will not be out the shipping and price of them. Besides, I can put any toy on the mobile.

She then responded:

he said that if you paid near what it was worth he wouldn't have cancelled his order. but i understand why he did. and i knew the swing worked and was worth more than what you paid, plus i was late to a real important meeting, and that didn't even bother you, that shows what kinda person you are. enjoy the swing.

It took a lot to not respond again. I mean really, I gave her two opportunities to back out...I even told her I did not care about those frickin toys. And I did show care about her "important meeting" I drove to the new site, which was I was told when I got there changed back to the other restaurant, I tried to end the sale when we couldn't get the battery thing opened. And who shows up for an "important meeting" with their 9 month old wearing jeans and a t-shirt? And I will enjoy the swing, which we did in fact get for a really good price. But she accepted it! And I am glad she knew the swing worked, but I didn't! It takes all kinds.

I am not completely turned off by this experience because I have a bunch of wonderful success stories. But I will be careful to meet in public places and not my home, as I don't want these crazy people to come and find me.

buyer beware

I love Craigslist. Whenever I have needed something, I have found it...for the price I wanted to pay too. I've generally had great luck with the sellers. Honest people trying to offload their unwanted crap. So I decided to Craigslist again for a used baby swing. Why pay $100 plus for something I can get used for $40? After searching through a couple swing postings, I contacted a seller whose price and swing were agreeable. The only down side was the location. A good 45 minute drive. But the poster seemed honest, giving me her number and address.

So I drove to Greeley w/ both kids in tow. By all appearances the swing was great. Clean at least. But the batteries were dying and I wasn't quite sure if it worked. The girl assured me it did. She was young, living in a single wide trailer on the outskirts of town. I thought, well if it doesn't work w/ new batteries lesson learned. And maybe her kid gets a nice winter coat out of it.

Consider lesson learned. The swing did not swing w/ new batteries, but the music, much to the delight of Cookie, works great. I e-mailed the seller w/ a thanks but you suck message. Her husband called, and apologized and offered me a refund. He's sending a check...only time will tell if i get said check, and if it clears. But maybe there are some honest people out there.

Cell Service

I hate our cell service provider. We have been loyal paying on time customers for 12 years. When we moved to Colorado, we had decent reception at our house. Bonus, we thought. Not so, our reception in the last two years has gotten worse and worse. Now we barely get a signal. Calls are dropped frequently and holding a conversation is difficult. The only reason we have stayed with At&T is because my family has them as their provider also. This has allowed us to call each other for no extra charge. However, my husband's business depends on him being able to communicate with others, and he can not do so on our current service. We have placed calls to the company inquiring as to why our reception is so poor. They claim that we in fact are in one of their best service areas. If this is a fact, I would hate to be in a poor area. Hubby asked if we could be released from our contract three months early due to the poor reception we have been getting on our phones. I mean, why are we paying for a service that we can not use? The company refused to release us...saying the only way out was to pay the $350.00 per phone line fee!!! So we have waited patiently, calling people back over and over again to finish a conversation, texting (and paying the extra fees there, since we are not on a text plan) the announcement of our daughter's birth in order to avoid any miscommunication, and apologizing to friends, family, co-workers, and business associates for our poor cell service.

Well our service is up at the end of the month and we could not be happier. One more thing, AT&T did us an even worse disservice. Hubby called to make it known that we will be ending our contract with them on the 23rd....and they told him that despite the fact that our contract ends on the 23rd we have to pay until the end of the month!!!! Say what? My bills are dated the 23rd of every month. But, we have to pay for an extra week. No explanation as to why this is other than, "that's our policy". While the I-Phone is really cool and neat, we would rather have a blackberry than deal with this asinine company. We are switching to Verizon. Only time will tell if the service is better, but I am betting from my neighbor's phone, the nurse's phone at the hospital, and everyone else I have spoken to who have Verizon, the cell service is great. Customer service blows, but at least we will be able to finish a conversation.

In Your Face

Hubby recently decided to try Facebook. After numerous mockings and exclamations of how lame it was, hubby relented to peer pressure. His best bud talked him into it. I wish I could say it was me, but no, sometimes a man will listen to his guy friends before the "little woman."

Hubby never has been good about keeping friends. Not that he is unlikable, it is quite the opposite, actually. People generally scramble to be his friend, Hubby just has issues stemming from moving around a lot as a kid. Since having kids, he has decided that people are not so disposable. Nothing prepared him for the onslaught of emotions Facebook would bring up.

Reconnecting with one's past can be quite painful for many of us. It can bring up all those old high school insecurities and emotions. For hubby reacquainting himself with an old co-worker brought about all kinds of feelings he was unprepared for. About eight years ago we attended this co-workers wedding. I remember it vividly. It was on a hill looking over the ocean. The bride wore a beautiful flowing gauzy dress and had flowers in her hair. I recall thinking how beautiful and simple the whole ceremony was. The reception was fun with a live band playing all kinds of music. The favors were tiny sea shells with a tea light in them wrapped up in tulle. Why I can recall this wedding so clearly is beyond me. I had never met either the bride or the groom, but I know that attending the wedding was a milestone for me and hubby. It was the first time he took me to a function and introduced me to his colleagues and friends. So the fact that my hubby reconnected with the groom, his ex-coworker and found out the bride had passed away was a great shock. She was 41, they had a young child, and she died suddenly. The thought that we are now at that age, where the unthinkable can happen was overwhelming. Where we have children who can become motherless or fatherless. We as parents never want to think about what horrible, horrific things could happen to our children came smacking hubby in the face. Facebook is great at connecting people. It is also a window into the reality of life and death, joy and sorrow. For my hubby's friend, the world crashed. For my hubby, his exterior walls have been cracked....not broken, but cracked. Thanks Facebook.

Labor and Delivery

I am just getting acquainted with my new little Jelly Bean. And I am of course contemplating what she is going to be like. What if I were able to figure out what her personality will be based solely on the tenor of my labor and delivery? Or maybe just the whole pregnancy?

Follow my reasoning for just a moment. In the womb, Jelly Bean was exceptionally mellow. A little push or a little nudge her or there, but nothing to forceful. Just sweet reminders that she was there and doing okay. Contrasty, Cookie was a force to be reckoned with. She would punch and kick me until actual bruises would show up slightly under the skin. Nettling me, that would be Cookie, she just pushes and pushes to see how far she can take things.

Labor with Cookie was also intense from the get go. Contraction on top of contraction. She came into this world just as she approaches life, full of vim and vigor. Cookie is headstrong, running from one interest to the next. Her delivery was just as quick, ten minutes and she was out. The midwife barely made it into the room on time.

Now Jelly Bean took things nice and slow. Keeping me from going to bed with little contraction followed by a nice loll, to another contraction. I waited four hours before waking hubby up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital. I had been timing them, and for all appearances they were 5 minutes apart for over an hour. By the time we got to the hospital at 4 a.m.....the contractions began to become unpredictable. Three in a row....nothing for 5-7 minutes. And the midwife kept coming in over the next two hours commenting on how we were just too mellow. So does this mean extreme moodiness? A slow to anger simmering waiting volcano of emotion...and then BOOOOM......then a calm. Of course Cookie's water broke an hour into labor, whereas w/ Jelly Bean, the midwife had to break it so we could get things rock-in-and a rollin. And the contractions albeit stronger, more intense, and frankly, I think worse than Cookies, continued to come in small and then intense threes. Delivery itself was harder and longer. 45 minutes of intense pushing. My midwife had no problems getting there this time.

So, am I going to be graced with a little Leo? Mellow, easy going, and then sudden bursts of emotion. Only time will tell. But one thing I am glad, is that I have a healthy baby. And that I chose to have my children drug free. Good things come to those who have to work hard. And labor and delivery is hard work.