Friday, January 11, 2013

World's Worst Moms and the Great Banana

    I will admit that this morning because of my cranky attitude I hold the torch for World's Worst Mom...In fact I hold that trophy quite often...  In fact, I have a good blogger friend who created, chronicling some of our worst moments as mothers.  I have submitted quite a few of my worst moments to her site.  Okay, sometimes I write a blog entry just for her.

     The best thing about World's Worst Moms is that it is all in good fun.  Lately my posts have been about my trials and tribulations with the puppy.  I knew what I was getting into when I allowed hubby to talk me into getting Woodrow.  I knew that I would be the one walking him, making sure he was fed, buying his treats and food, picking up his shit (all of it and all kinds).  This does not stop me from bitching about what an Asshole this dog is.  Seriously, today for example shithead got a walk to the school, then he ran around the dog park, then he got a bath (which he loves btw).  And while I am in the shower, jerkface comes in, knocks over the empty humidifier canister (on purpose), steals a part off of it and runs around in front of the shower door, daring me to come and try to take it from him.  He knows I am otherwise occupied in the shower, yet poopy breath starts to mouth said object and throws it on the floor, grabbing it in his mouth, running up to the door and chomping down on it loudly.  I can not emphasize enough what a jerk he is.  Anyway, this week while hubby is out of town, I have taken up the vocabulary of a high schooler.  Once I had kids I learned to curb my potty mouth.  This week phrases such as, "You MOTHERFUCKER" and "Son of a Bitch." have been front of the kids.  "Asshole" is my nickname for him...I am sure it is okay if my 3 year old and 5 year old start using that word right?  I have spent the better part of a week wrestling the bastard for objects he has stolen.  Yelling each and every time..."YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE OF A DOG I HATE YOU." Yep stellar parenting over here.

Anyway, my good friend over at World's Worst Moms is having a give away, because she is awesome.  And she got a puppy about the same time we got Woodrow.  I  think Tammy as a kindred spirit.  She's witty, she's real, and like me, has a lot of qualms about religion.  Anyway, she is giving away a Banana Hammock to one brave sole.  So go and check her out and try and wrestle that awkward piece away from me.  Oh and while your at it, go like her blog and her Facebook Page cause Tammy is awesome.