Ageist

I will readily admit that I am an ageist. I only have patience for things that work in favor of my kids at their particular age at this particular moment.

For example, it's the end of the school year for the kids in our area. This means that end of the year parties and activities. Most of those parties and activities are held at local parks around town. We have 27 parks! Yes, 27. The number is awesome, the choice is awesome...what's not so awesome is when you bring your two children, ages 4 and 22 months, to the park to play and it is crawling with elementary school age kids. And not just 5...but 60 of them. No matter what park you choose!

I am one of those parents who watch their children. I am sure some of you know a few parents who are too busy facebooking and texting or talking on their cell phones to watch their children. Even when I am talking to other parents at the park, I am still aware where my kids are and what they are doing.

Being a former teacher, I know that there are wonderful and fantastic teachers out there....but I also know that there are ones that don't care. Sometimes at the park I get to view the later...the ones who let their students do anything they want. They throw sand, push little kids out of the way, steal their buckets and shovels, and prevent the little ones from going on certain equipment. I hate having to be that mom admonishing the elementary kids when they are supposed to be having fun. I hate having to act as mediator for children that I am not responsible for. I am not a hovering parent. I let my kids try new things, fall (safely), fail, dust off and then try again. I teach my children tools on how to get along with others, although this doesn't always happen.

I particularly hate these elementary schools invading my park. I also get annoyed during the summer when busloads of kids from summer camps and daycare places show up at my normally tame and quiet park. I know that when Cookie starts elementary school I'll be one of those parents who think the parents of little one's need to chill out and share the park....cause I'm an ageist....and when there are too many kids I won't get to see this:

For the Hell of It.

Sometimes I like to say "No" to Jelly, just to say no. There really is no reason to say no, I mean I could say yes to whatever it is, but no is just so much funnier. I mean Jelly is almost two and she has started throwing those terrible two tantrums. I find them pretty hilarious. Maybe it's because I've been through them before, or maybe it is because they just are not as violent as Cookie's were. Does this make me a mean Mom?

I will pretend for appearance sakes to say it teaches her some positive traits. 1. I am in charge 2. You don't always get what you want. 3. You get nothing if you cry (cause sometimes I'll say yes when the crying stops). 4. patience.

On another note, I enjoyed scaring the pants off Cookie today. There she was, playing sweetly in her room, when I sneaked in quietly and yelled "BOO". She jumped like a foot and screamed. Then she started laughing....and of course I laughed an evil laugh. She said, "Mommy you scared me." I felt slightly satisfied.

Maybe I'm a little demented. I just like doing things for the hell of it.

What's with this age?

Nobody and I mean nobody warned me about four. You hear horror stories about two...trepidation about three, and downright fear about thirteen and well...any teen year. But four, nobody, told me about four. Take the terrible two tantrums, mix well with the word "No", and throw in a little "I don't want to" and you've got my four year old. Being a parent is delightful, it is fun, it is tiring, it is scary, and it is frustrating to no end. This four year old makes me absolutely terrified to reach teen years. Emotionally charged and verbally adept, she is exerting her independence like a freight train. If I was to tell her that the color was blue, she would insist it was red. I tell her to jump, she says she wants to lie down. She tells me she likes a certain food, then says she hates it.




The other day we went outside to take some four year old pictures in her princess dress. All things were going great.....and then in a flash of a moment tears and a tantrum. I would ask her to stand one place, she'd insist on another. This is where I need to learn to get good at reverse psychology. I have to make things seem like her idea, contrary to my idea. "Charlotte it's snowing, maybe you should go outside in your tennis shoes." then hope she chooses to wear her snow shoes instead.

I am not a fan of four...I hear five is better, but then again, I think those Mom's are just lying again.

Get Angry

I received an e-mail the other day from a woman I met once at a park while playing with my kids almost a year ago. We hit it off enough, that I got her e-mail and invited her to playgroup. Like many women I meet and invite to playgroup, I e-mailed her...but never heard back. That was until a few days ago.

I am not immune to the world or the problems many people are facing right now. The idea that our government, our congressmen and women are playing games while the numbers in poverty increase daily sickens me. The idea that they continue to give tax breaks to the richest of the rich, allow large conglomerate companies to avoid paying taxes drives me nuts. The fact that I am a historian, and throughout history, "trickle down economics" does not work. The rich do not create more jobs if you give them more money....point in case: in the 80s, they just took the money and built themselves new homes in other countries, and moved this country's manufacturing across the seas to places like China. But, this is not really about politics and my feeling on how all members, yes I said it, ALL members of congress need to be fired, we need to start over...maybe have a few teachers, plumbers, and waitresses start making the decisions...cause those there now are not there for us, the people's best interest, they are there to make more money, and keep their billions growing.

All that being said, this woman contacted me to see if my husband could hire her husband. She recalled that I mentioned he was looking in to hire a web guy to help him....she said her husband was good with computers, but was a landscape architect by trade. Things in a year have changed significantly for us, in the company my husband works for (for the better), and in what my husband needs in his "web" people. The e-mail is just one example, of many, I am sure, of what our economy, what the reality is for most Americans today. We are thankful every single day for what we have, for what his boss and the company he works for provides. We are not rich, we are not well off, but we are doing better than most. My heart breaks for this woman who not only has had to face a major life changing event in regards to her husbands unemployment, but two miscarriages in the time span from when I met her. A person so desperate, that she is begging virtual strangers for help. A person who, when I told her that unfortunately my husband hired four new people but all in California, that he is no longer looking for help, said they'd be willing to relocate. My heart breaks for her, her situation, and those who are too struggling to make ends meet. Those who are making daily decisions..."do I buy groceries or provide heat for my family this month."

I ask are we not angry enough yet?

Torn and Tattered

Next month my Cookie is 4 years old. Sometimes while driving, I'll glance in the rear view mirror and be thrown at how much she has grown, at what a big girl she is. Last night while cuddling before bed, I became just a little verklempt. Cookie hung on to my neck and pushed her little head into my neck and told me she loved me and wanted to hug me forever. In that moment I knew that this closeness to my baby girl was fleeting, that one day she will push me away. That one day she will tell me to get out of her room, that she will roll her eyes at me and tell me I am annoying.

But, for now I still have my bossy, talkative, boisterous, fearless little girl who loves to sing and dance without a care in the world. A little girl who jumps headfirst into the deep end of the pool even though she can't swim, and expects and knows that it will be okay, that someone will be there to catch her from drowning. My tomboy who asks for dinosaurs and princesses for Christmas. The first one in her preschool class to brave the zip line, even though technically she is the youngest. She wears princess dresses and cowgirl boots. Prefers her clothes only be purple, and hates to have her hair brushed. Is in one breath super jealous of her sister, yet very giving at the same time. She will sing at the top of her lungs even though in reality, she can not carry a tune (something she gets from me). And of course the one thing in those four years that goes everywhere with her. That has been dragged through the mud, sleet, snow, dirt, water, and goodness knows what else. The item that we can't get out of her face, even for pictures, her blankie, or "Neh Neh" as she calls it.

I am afraid, okay maybe relieved, that Neh Neh will not last until her 4th birthday. It has been through some transformations since she attached to it at 4 months old. The yellow thermal receiving blanket started out quite large. She would drag it behind her, tripping herself as she went. Finally, fed up with it being so long, I cut it down (or I should say them...I bought three of the same blanket for her). Last year, I put most of them away to be used in a quilt I am making for her out of all her baby blankets...and left her with just three Neh Nehs, one to be used at a time while the other two were in the wash. Two have been lost in travels...one at Disneyland, the other who knows where.....and we are left with one. One tattered and torn lovey. Last month I noticed that it was so worn, that it looked as if it was disintegrating. Cookie of course has not helped poor Neh Neh's plight, she has pulled and twisted it until the edging I had sewn around it detached from the middle part. Then what was left was about a 6X6 in square, has been torn into two very thin strips. The two vestiges of her baby and toddler hood are going going going and will be gone as she reaches 4 and becomes a little girl.


Neh Neh is so small, so minuscule that she loses it about a dozen times a day. Hysteria ensues...because she knows that it might be gone forever, that she might have misplaced it for the last time. Am I ready for my baby, my toddler to become a little girl? Am I ready for the attitude, the emotional roller coaster that comes with girls, I think it is already too late.... her Neh Neh, is torn and tattered, she has outgrown it, although she is still holding on, like I am. But someday, too soon, it will be gone and so will my little baby girl.

Meatballs-Beach House Style

Our last days at the beach house and I am working on clearing out the pantry. Tonight's menu was spaghetti and meatballs. Cookie asks for meatballs all the time. She loves ground beef in many different ways, and meatballs happens to be her favorite. I have been looking for the perfect meatball recipe, but so far it has alluded me...that is until today. Something about having to make due with what I have, to substitute for what I would normally use, has worked out in my favor. Five years of being married and trying my hand at cooking has helped. Below is my successful Meatball-Beach House Style recipe.

Meatballs-Beach House Style

1 pound ground beef
1/4 cup red onions chopped
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup Good Seasons Italian Dressing Seasoning prepared
1 egg
1/2 cup Ritz crackers crushed
salt to taste
pepper to taste

1 jar of Marinara Sauce (your choice, I used Barilla)
1 small can of tomato sauce
2 tbsps Olive Oil

1. Mix all ingredients together and then shape into balls. You can make as big or small as you desire
2. Heat Olive Oil in a frying pan. Brown Meatballs on all sides. Place onto bake safe pan. Pour sauces over the meatballs and bake until internal temp reaches 165 degrees. I baked at a low temp of 250 for about 2 hours...but I made them early in the afternoon, you could most likely turn up the heat and bake a shorter time. I also used a gas oven at sea level, so everything bakes faster and more evenly than my electric at home.

Vegetable Beef Soup..Beach House Style

Vegetable Beef Soup

1-2 pds of round beef steak cubed

1 cup diced onion

1 cup of carrots sliced thin

1 cup celery chopped

1 tbsp butter

1 can diced tomatoes

1 can tomato sauce

6 cups of beef broth (or water 4 bullion cubes or 4 tsps)

2 cloves of garlic

1 tbsp Worcester sauce

1 tbsp of cinnamon

1 bay leaf

1/2 tbsp of chili powder or you can use like I have in a pinch "famous Daves" rib rub or some other rub.(seriously)

salt and pepper to taste

1. In a large soup pot cook the onions in the butter over a med. heat until soft, stirring occasionally. Add the rest of the veggies. Cook about 5 minutes more, stirring occasionally. Add the meat and brown on all sides...stirring occasionally.

2. Add the Beef Broth, tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, Worcester, and the garlic (peel off the skin...but do not crush). Add the spices...I let them cook about 10 minutes, stir and taste then add more to taste.

3. Bring to a boil, stir and then simmer until the meat falls apart and the carrots are soft. I like to simmer covered at least an hour. Uncovered about an hour. You can also brown everything and then put in a crock pot.

Creative living

If you ever want to see what things you have in your kitchen and pantry that you really don't need or use, go away for a month. Stay in a beach cottage that has almost all the necessities...like plates, utensils, pots, pans, furniture, and beds. Go shopping for food and staples, then when you attempt to cook your family a meal, realize that all the things you usually use are not available or you forgot to buy.

We are lucky enough to be staying at the beach in Southern California for a month. Lucky to have a wonderful two bedroom beach cottage with almost everything including cable. Our first day was anything but ideal, as Cookie promptly puked at a local restaurant (her turn with the tummy flu that nearly did Hubby in as soon as we arrived in L.A....another story for another time maybe). When I finally did get out that evening for food staples I decided to go to a Super Target because upon arriving at said beach house, I realized that my number one mistake was not making sure it had a bathtub. 18 month olds simply do not appreciate a nice shower. So not wanting to go to multiple places, and we desperately needed food staples, I went to Super Target for food and a blow up kiddie pool to place in the shower.

I am not a huge fan of Target's grocery selection. In fact I am a little leery of it. I bought some chicken tenders which I had intended on making my infamous Frosted Flake chicken with the following night for dinner...but when one fails to buy Frosted Flakes (oops) and Hubby has the car (nobody walks in L.A....that and where the house is there is really nothing close enough or safe enough to walk to with two kids), ....creativity comes in. The pantry was pretty paltry anyway, bare bones, to be exact, as I was intending on going to the regular grocery store later in the week....I decided to use Ritz crackers as bread crumbs...a good choice as I also realized that we had no salt, just pepper for seasoning. Score one point for Mom. I realize that crackers are something others use regularly for bread crumbs...just that my Mom and Dad never did, so I felt pretty creative and the Hubby and non sick kid ate them.

Night two on my dinner menu (still have not gotten to the real grocery store) Vegetable Beef Soup. Things I did manage to get at Target, carrots, celery, and beef. However I had failed to get beef broth or any other kind of spices I usually use. Problem solved with a Beef Top Ramen packet. No Chili Powder or bay leaf....Cinnamon (who knows why I bought Cinnamon, because I don't know what I was thinking). One of the best beef soups I have made in a long time. Although cutting the beef into cubes was tougher than usual since I discovered that there was no butcher knife, just steak knives. Really, who stocks a kitchen and does not include at least one butcher knife but buys a rice cooker. I mean I use a rice cooker at least 3 times a week so score for me, but seriously. Recipe of soup to follow.

Things I have in my kitchen that I have discovered and rendered useless, Butcher knives who needs them, just tear the meat. Spices other than Cinnamon...okay salt is good and pepper too, but those others are just expensive and take up room in your cupboards and pantries. Baking trays, just use tin foil. Tupperware...eat everything if you make it. Bread crumbs, seriously just buy one kind of cracker and use those for everything, finger sandwiches, croutons, you get the gist. Spaghetti spoon. Dishwasher, use your hands. Dust Pan, just sweep the dirt outside. These are just some of the things I have discovered I've been doing wrong.

In the gutter

I am no marketing genius, I leave that up to Hubby. He sometimes will blurt out while we are someplace, "are you kidding me people?" There are a lot of places that choose their company names or product names that make no sense. Names that are asking to be made fun of.

For example, on our way to the Denver Zoo there is a Chinese Restaurant named, "Ho Mei". Seems innocuous right? Wrong, it is in a predominantly black neighborhood. Did they name it so that calling it "Homey" would feel more natural for the locals? Whatever it means in Chinese, it makes me laugh every time I see it.

Or locally, a restaurant opened and their signage read, "RustiCoven". I should have taken a picture of this before they finally changed their logo to read, "Rustic Oven." The first time we saw the sign my husband actually did a hand to the head smack. But, I still call it the "Rusty Coven" and will as long as the place exists.

Today my mind was apparently in the gutter when I came across the scene of a man loading his company truck with the name "T & A Counters". I mean, naming your business after you and your partners first names that start with a "T" and an "A" respectively sounds all right. But, when you put them together with "Counters" you are just asking for it. I actually drove past this truck, turned around and took a picture. And of course I just happened to get a picture of the owners ass sticking out of the truck. So what are the rules for counting the number of tits and asses? Do you have to go to school to become a "T & A" counter? Oh I could make jokes all day. Maybe my mind is just in the gutter. I am also wondering if you find this as amusing as I do?

Tofu Lo Mein Stir Fry

I am forever trying to find ways to cook Tofu. Besides the fact that Jelly loves the stuff, it is good for you and provides a great alternative to meat. We decided to purchase a 1/4 of a cow last Fall. The cow comes from a Colorado farm where the cows are not pumped full of hormones and are grass fed. When you go to pick up your meat, they literally butcher the cow that day. Needless to say we have a lot of beef products.

I like to try and meal plan my week where we have a rotation of chicken, beef, pork, and tofu. It doesn't always work out, as my kids are pretty picky eaters and sometimes I just want them to eat instead of turning their noses up at what I serve them. I refuse to stop feeding the kids healthy foods because all they want is PB&J. The rule in the house is that they have to try everything on their plate, but do not have to finish it. I can not force them to eat. I am under the belief that if they are hungry, they will eat, even if it isn't chicken nuggets. (which they only get when we go out for dinner).

I never ever have "dessert" because that would just set me and them up for disaster. Since I have no will power when it comes to things like chocolate or ice cream, I don't keep it in the house. Even chocolate chips, because eventually I will raid the bag and start eating them by the spoonful. I know some people have dessert every night and have to battle the food dilemma nightly. "Did I eat enough Mommy? Can I have dessert Mommy?" None of that here. We just ask, "Did you try everything on your plate? We'd like you to take a bite of your carrots, before you ask to be excused."

The following recipe is one I put together that would satisfy both the kids and us adults. Jelly gets her tofu, which I love, too. Cookie gets her pasta, and everyone gets a good dose of vegetables. (sorry no pictures today)

Tofu LoMein Stir Fry

1 package extra-firm tofu
1 package of spaghetti (I use regular spaghetti size)
2 tbsp veg. oil
1/2 onion sliced
2 stalks of celery, thinly sliced
1 med. red pepper thinly sliced
3 cloves garlic crushed
1 large zucchini cut into thin half moons
1/4 pkg spinach
1 broccoli crown separated
2 large carrots peeled, shredded
1/4 cup Mr. Yoshida’s (or you can mix some soy sauce w/ some brown sugar or honey)
red pepper flakes according to taste (I don't use because the kids don't like spice, but I have added Chinese sriracha to hubby's and mine.)

1. Cook Pasta according to package directions. Drain and set aside.
2. In a large frying pan or wok, brown tofu in 1 tbsp oil, set aside on paper towel lined plate.
3. Add remaining oil to the pan, cook onions, garlic, celery and bell peppers until soft
4. Put zucchini, carrots, broccoli, spinach in pan, cover and steam 5 minutes
5. Add tofu and pasta and Mr. Yoshida’s mix cook on med. until warm.
6. You can add hot sauce or sriracha or even Korean hot sauce according to your own tastes.

Humidify

I am on the hunt once again for the world's most efficient humidifier. I am not asking much really. I want something that produces a mist to humidify the room at least 30%. I want something that doesn't leak. And I want something that doesn't sound like an airplane running in the room. Oh and can it function longer than one winter? How hard is it to get these things really? Growing up we had a humidifier that mom brought out every time we got a cold. It was bare bones back then, but while loud and leaving a small water puddle near the vapor outlet, it worked for like ever.

We have had four different brand humidifiers in the five years we've been married and only one that I was decently happy enough with that I bought another of the same and then they both promptly stopped working in different ways. All work okay until the 30 days are up for warranty.

When my sister came to visit, my nephew came down with the croup. I rushed over to Target and bought a humidifier. From the get go, the thing didn't work right, but my sister, who was concerned about my nephew only cared that it put out the vapor, not that you couldn't change how much vapor or even turn the unit off without unplugging it, despite what the instruction manual said it should. Since she never informed me that it didn't work right, or maybe it did and then two months later when I took it out again, the gauges stopped working, I couldn't return it. The machine is quite loud and hubby refuses to have it in our room, but it does emit a great vapor.

The next one I bought was the cutesy Frog looking one from Crane for Cookie's room. It was quiet, it emitted a small amount of vapor....but only worked well enough to humidify a small closet. I continued to use it though for a good two winter seasons, but after the second, the plastic cracked and broke, rendering the unit unusable.

Next, I purchased an ultrasonic one that didn't require a filter like the first one did, which frankly was gross and I changed often. While the first unit was just under $50, filters are close to $12 a piece....thus making the unit actually not that economical. The ultrasonic did not have filters, but was on the pricier side, closer to $100.00. I liked the ultrasonic unit, as it seemed to work, it had a humidity control monitor that seemed to work, and kept the room humidified. I liked it so much , I ran back to the store and bought another one so I could have one in each of the kid's rooms because inevitably they will both be sick at the same time. Then inexplicably one started dripping water from the base....and I mean the whole unit of water, all of the bookshelf I had it sitting on, down the back, soaking the entire carpet. Having had the book self anchored to the wall for kid safety, we had to remove said anchors, empty book self and spend an hour with the steam cleaner soaking up the water from the carpet. It took over two days to dry completely. with the floor heater pointed to it. The other one stopped measuring moisture properly and would turn off, so I had to leave it on all the time at optimum output. Now I am back to using filtered loud one until I can find another unit.

I have been online. I have read hundreds of reviews regarding numerous different humidifiers and everyone, it seems, has the same problems with every single product out there. I am even willing to shell out $300 for a product, if it works...but even those seem to have crappy reviews. Are humidifiers that difficult to make? Or is this some gigantic conspiracy by these companies to make a product that only lasts 90 days, forcing you, the consumer, to continue to buy more? I once had an American made car, whose parts individually broke as soon as the warranty ran out. The rear view mirror literally came off the window. Door handles broke, belts burst, and I don't want to forget the peeling paint problem...all occurring days after the warranty was over.

Maybe this time I'll get lucky and find something that works.

Holiday Sugar Cookies

My friend over at Evolvingmommy.com is hosting a cookie exchange again this year. Last year I accumulated many yummy and delicious cookie recipes. I was baking almost everyday before Christmas last year thanks to her.

I am reposting my Vanilla Cut Out Cookie Recipe for her exchange. I found these to be the best...and I mean best cut out, no need to refrigerate dough recipe. My Hungarian friend retrieved this recipe from an old Hungarian Cookbook, translated it for me, and then I had to convert everything from grams to cups and tablespoons and teaspoons. I did make a couple changes....but I bet you won't eat just one. I love my sugar cookies nice and soft, so I don't cook them until they are golden brown on the bottom, but if you cook them longer they turn out nice and crisp if that's what you prefer. I also like my cookies thick, but you can roll out the dough to whatever thickness you prefer. I make these for every holiday...but have yet to make them for Christmas this year...I went with chocolate this week. Therefore my picture is one from Spring. My own little Cookie loves to make these and Jelly just loves Cookies.....Enjoy

Vanilla Cut Out Cookies

2 3/4 Cups All purpose flour
2 1/2 Sticks of Butter (or 1 1/4 cups)
1 1/2 Cups Sugar
1 1/2 tsp Vanilla
4 Egg Yolks (reserve whites to baste cookies)

Mix all ingredients together until forms a dough. Roll with flour and cut out with favorite cookie cutters. Baste with egg whites, sprinkle with sugar or sprinkles if desired. Bake 350F until golden brown.

Personal Shopper

Hubby's boss has summoned us to the company Holiday Party. And when I say summoned, I mean it. Since Hubby's company is in California, that means we have to fly out to go. The boss man is paying for the whole family to go. Great news considering that my grandfather had a fall and is now in a nursing home. I wanted to fly home to Mom last week, but had puking kids. Now I can go and have someone to pay for it.

Of course a Holiday Party means a holiday dress, thus sending me into a panic.It's been about five years since I've really needed to dress nicely. Five years since I've worn actual nice clothes. I am a mom, and I have become that Stay at Home Mom horror. Frankly I can not see spending good money on clothes that the kids just ruin with snot, puke, and other lovely things. One I get dressed in the morning, the nice clean clothes last approximately 5 minutes. Little fingers with some kind of goo always smudge them. Plus my size keeps changing.

To the mall I headed to find the perfect little black dress. You all know the one I'm talking about. Two hours alone at the mall for shopping while hubby takes care of the home front is pure bliss. Shopping and trying on clothes without grubby hands or whining kids is a plus.

While discarding the fifth unacceptable dress, hubby texts me to inform me that the party is casual....so buy something nice, but casual. Oh Thank GOD! I was seriously becoming depressed, having been unable to loose the baby weight after Jelly. That's a combination of lack of exercise (not without trying trust me...these kids don't cooperate with me trying to live a healthy lifestyle...not sure how others do it) and still nursing. Yes, I am in the minority who can not loose weight while nursing. I didn't loose a pound until I stopped nursing Cookie.

So I left the big department store and headed to my all time favorite store, Ann Taylor. I used to love their clothes, maybe I'm too old. Maybe my body just changed too much...but that store was a colossal fail. It could have been the florescent lighting they placed along both sides of the mirror, casting a horrific glow, making it impossible to see if clothes actually fit properly, or it could be that they had nothing in the exact size I needed. Either too big or too small.

Dejected just a tad, I walked into Eddie Bauer. They've been sending us their catalog and I had walked in there the previous week and bought hubby two new work shirts and me a brand spanking new adorable winter coat. I was impressed with the service I had received, and thought to try them again.

Like before, I received excellent service. But it got even better. As I am trying on clothes I hear a voice outside my door. "Hi, my name is Katie and I can help you with anything you want..in just a minute....ummm, I kinda have to get dressed as I was trying on all our clearance stuff." I open the door and say, "sounds like fun, when you get a chance can I get another size in these pants." That's when the fun begins. She oohs and ahs about what I'm trying on, comes back with the requested size pants and a boat load of other clothes. She says, "here's some stuff I thought would look great and it's on clearance...so just give it a try." I had been lamenting just the day before to a friend that maybe I needed to hire a personal shopper because I hadn't a clue as what to buy anymore. My body was f*ed, and I am now 30 not 20. I am outdated and haven't a clue as what to buy. The next hour and a half consisted of Katie as my own personal shopper and new best friend. Honest opinions about clothing and great options. Not only did I leave the store with a great outfit to wear to Hubby's Christmas party, I left with two outfits and a fuzzy gloved ice scraper. Can you say salesperson of the year?

I am so happy with my purchases and the personal attention I am going to write a positive letter to the company...I know something different from the terse ones I've been writing to everyone.

Things that go Bump in the Night

You ever have one of those feeling as a parent that you are just destined not to get sleep that night? Last night was one of those nights. I have recently been a little obsessed with Korean Drama shows. I used to watch them years ago in order to practice my Korean, and get the cadence of the language when I was learning it. Since we cancelled cable over a year ago, we've been watching t.v. online....and the site we consistently go back to has been adding Korean Drama to their catalog of shows.

The cool thing about it, is that, unlike American soap operas, they end in sixteen episodes, and the website usually posts all episodes at once. There is no waiting a week for the next episode or even a day. The bad part of this, is they are highly addicting, and all I want to do is watch the show I am currently on. All. Day. Hey kids you need a bath? Eh we'll just skip it tonight...MinSung is about to meet up with Hwang So. Anyway the last two nights I have been staying up past 11 o'clock watching. Stupid me.

Last night I had that intuitive feeling that I should be going to bed at 9 o'clock, but could not turn off my Korean Drama. As I hit the hay at around 11:30, I tossed and turned and just as I was finally drifting off to slumberland, Jelly started crying. She's going through a pretty rough separation anxiety and has been fighting naps, sleep, and going back to sleep in general. Thinking her issue was this, I vowed that after going in, changing a minor wet diaper, rubbing a tummy for a few minutes, I was going to let her cry it out. Immediately upon leaving the room she started screaming. A fever, high pitch scream. Not her normal scream, but she sounded angry.

From the Cookie's monitor I could hear her tossing a little, most likely disturbed by her sister. And that's when I heard it, a bump. Thinking it was Cookie getting out of bed to go pee, I ignored it. But, then I didin't hear her door open. So I finally got out of bed to deal with the fever pitch non-stop screaming of Jelly before she really did wake up Cookie. Ready to show her my frustration, I walked in and there she was....wondering around her room crying! In case you missed that, my 15 month old was out of her crib!!!!! That bump was Jelly climbing out of her crib. Grabbing my child to my now very awake self, feeling her all over to make sure she was uninjured. I proceeded to cuddle with he until she started to drift to sleep. She was pulling her ears, so I got to thinking she was probably teething again.

Fast forward to four a.m. After nursing the crying Jelly (we have just the one left), I put her back to bed. Five a.m. I hear her coughing and crying. The sound every Mom knows means...puke is going to follow that cough. I get up and as soon as I lift her, she starts throwing up. Panic, did she hit her head when she climbed out? I am now examining my now naked child's head for any discerning bumps. No, nothing. I am pretty positive she doesn't have a concussion. Despite all the puke, the panic about concussion and bleeding in the brain. I have the following recurring thought, "Oh my God! She's climbing out of her crib already, what the fuck am I going to do?"

Laughter the Best Medicine

They say that laughter is the best medicine. That laughter actually makes a person healthier. I haven't really had a good laugh in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I laugh, I find things funny, particularly, hubby and some of the things the kids do. But a good, strong, tears rolling down my face laugh, not so much.

Hubby says that I am too serious. My siblings like to say I am too. Which, probably means I am. I just don't take responsibility lightly. When I was teaching, I wish I could say I was the funny teacher...cause who doesn't like a teacher who is funny? My classes were fun, the kids generally liked me (I think), and learning happened all the time. However, I was always professional and a little cynical. Seasoned teachers told me I acted like a veteran. The things I said, the way I held myself screamed old timer. Yep, a nice way of saying I was serious, that I didn't have that new teacher glow. It was not meant as an insult, as seasoned teachers kinda felt threatened by the newer, younger teachers. New teachers have energy, they have pizazz, and many have that young/good looking thing that even if they are terrible at the job, the kids still love them. One student once told me that I hung out with the "popular teachers." I think she meant the younger ones in their twenties opposed to those in their 40s-60s (cause at the school I taught we didn't have many in between...most were within 10 years of retirement). But, I could hang with the older crowd and fit right in. The other new teacher had problems being able to relate to their mentors.

As a stay at home mom, I take my job very seriously. What I do is important, I have to convince myself of this daily or I would just get depressed. But I am not the "cool" Mom. I never will be. My parents were the cool parents. My Mom used to pile all the kids in the neighborhood in their station wagon and just drive around turning right or left when the kids told her to. My dad would bring home the company truck, pile the kids in the back and take everyone out to ice cream. These things would never happen in my home. First, hubby isn't too keen on kids other than our own. Second, all that gas wasted, and I would not feel comfortable driving all the kids around in the neighborhood. The responsibility scares me. Yep, I am too serious.

Last night Cookie asked me to come play in her room with her. So I obliged, since really how long is she really going to want to play with me anyway? One day she's going to be slamming that bedroom door asking me to please leave her alone. She told me she wanted to give me a show and to get in the closet (lucky girl has a walk in). And then she sang and danced and intermittently between the singing and dancing she started burping and farting. I was laughing so hard tears started streaming down my face. My sides hurt. And Cookie kept laughing because I was laughing. Then she' ask me to stop so the show could go on...but she'd start to giggle, then she'd burp and then I'd start laughing again. It felt really really good. I love my Cookie and I was reminded that sometimes I just need to let go, stop worrying about the laundry or the kitchen that has yet to be cleaned and enjoy my kids. Because they are really really funny.

Be the Ball...or something like it

Ever have that Ah Ha moment? That moment where there is perfect clarity. I had it the other day. I have been struggling with keeping my cool in regards to Cookie and her 3 year old behavior. That little girl sure can push. Not to mention she already is sounding like a teenager. Her tone when responding to us can really use an adjustment. And the other day her Daddy was the recipient of a "Fuck You, I hate you" face. In fact if she had those words I think she would have used them.

Back to my moment of Zen. I was reading one of those Parent magazines with the name "Parent" in it's title and there was an article about how to stop yelling at your kids. I am not sure what spoke to me, and made me actually take their advice, but for once, maybe the author knew what she was talking about. She wasn't some clinical child psychologist or doctor telling me how to raise my kid. She was a mom who also found herself yelling at the top of her lungs, "You will listen to me! Why are you driving me crazy? Why are you doing that?" While her kids either looked at her like she was crazy or continued to misbehave.

Here's the thing. Some of the suggestions were things I learned to do as a teacher....and employed them successfully on a daily basis. After my first year teaching, in which I call the "screaming year." Where as a first year teacher all you do is scream louder than the kids. I learned that yelling did nothing, so I whispered or spoke softly. This method always worked. Well why wouldn't it work with my three year old? Cause newsflash, it does.

Secondly, as a teacher I found I had to be explicit in what I wanted and why. I also had to explain in detail why I was upset and what the students were doing incorrectly. If I had just said, "Jimmy, you are driving me crazy." He would be clueless as to what behavior was really driving me nuts. Since, he may have walked in the door, sat down at his desk, got out his notebook, all correct behaviors, but was chewing gum and blowing bubble (incorrect) in a one minute span. I would have needed to say, "Jimmy your gum chewing and blowing bubbles is driving me crazy." Immediate understanding should follow. This descriptive talk is something I have failed to do as a parent. I am not sure why, as it is one of the first lessons I learned preparing to teach.

Yesterday I employed tactic number two, while speaking in a soft firm voice. It worked. I found that when my blood started to boil in annoyance at some behavior Cookie was displaying, telling her in detail why it was wrong actually calmed me. I found other parents at the park giving me marveling and impressed stares as I told the girls, who were fighting over a water bottle that, "taking turns is how both of them get what they want, so Cookie gets to take a drink first while Jelly waits and then it is Jelly's turn to take a drink while Cookie waits. Grabbing the water bottle out of each other's hands just makes the person whose turn it is upset and no one is happy." I didn't shout my usual, "SHARE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!" or "STOP HITTING YOUR SISTER!" Amazingly the fighting stopped and both girls waited their turns. All day things like this happened. It was only while I was cooking dinner that I lost my patience with Jelly as she can not quite understand why she is not allowed in the kitchen while Mommy is making dinner.

The last tactic discussed was reminding yourself that your child is acting their age, so speak it out loud, "you are acting so three!" This is supposed to help you remember that your three year old has only been around for 36 months to learn everything. This tactic makes me think of "CaddyShack" and Chevy Chase saying "Be the Ball." Cookie is just being "3" that's it. I need some reminders of that.

Parenting is harder than I ever imagined and I need a lot more patience than I was ever given. Hopefully by employing these tactics I can learn to parent smarter not harder.

Awesome!

Have I told you how awesome my Mom is. She really is. I can not fathom where she got all the energy to raise us kids and have fun while we were at it. Probably cause she's awesome. With all the Halloween and fall preparedness kicking in, I am reminded of the things I loved about my childhood, and it was because of Mom that they were awesome.

First we always, always made popcorn balls. Caramely, buttery popcorn balls. She'd pop a gigantic bowl of popcorn, heat the caramel on the stove and us kids would slather our hands in butter waiting for her to pour the caramel over the popcorn and then tell us we could start molding balls. As we dug in, forming popcorn balls, we'd all being blowing on our fingers saying "ouch...ouch...ouch...hot...hot..hot" all the while we'd keep trading off dipping our hands in the butter and then the popcorn. I looked forward to lunch everyday the week after making them, as Mom always packed them in our lunches. Dad would come home from work excited to enjoy the fruits of our labor.

Every holiday we made sugar cutout cookies. What another treat for us kids to have in our lunches. Yummy homemade cookies that we got to cut out and decorate. Spiders, pumpkins, witches and an occasional leaf adorned the Fall cookie collection.

Cookie has started to ask if we can get the Halloween box out of the basement and make cookies. So this year now that it is October, cookies, popcorn balls, and pumpkins are on the agenda. Not to mention a lot of crafting projects, trips to the farm and pumpkin patch, and trick or treating.

While Halloween is not my favorite holiday, Fall is my favorite season. And it does feel like fall. Today I took the kids on a bike ride, enjoying the cool fall weather, the color changes on the trees, and the smell of dampness that was missing all summer.

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Growing up with a Catholic grandmother who embraced the Jewish culture was quite an experience. The woman was phenomenal at dishing out guilt trips. I was either to fat or too thin. I never ate enough but was eating way too much. If you were sick, she fed you. But she fed us with the Jewish penicillin, Matzo Ball Soup. For a Catholic lady, she sure could whip up a mean matzo. She died too young, I think, and before I was old enough to get her recipe. But the little bit of Jewish in me, 1/4 to be exact, likes to feed my family with this particular Jewish cure for all that ails you. Every Jewish family has a chicken soup recipe, which they claim to be the best. Frankly what makes it the best is the time and love they put into it.

When my Cookie came down with the flu, I chucked the idea of having a nice steak for dinner and began to thaw the whole chicken I had in the freezer for just such an occasion. (I like to buy a whole baking chicken when they are on sale and keep it in the freezer to either make a stock, or a soup with, my favorite is Tortilla Soup..but plain chicken soup is great). While Cookie of course refused to eat the soup (tummy hurt too much), Hubby, Jelly, and I enjoyed it along with some homemade egg noddles and homemade baguettes. Below is my easy peasy Chicken Soup/Chicken stock recipe. The one below is if you want to eat the soup the same day, but the best soup is made over two days allowing time to cool the stock and remove the fat, then chopping more carrots, celery, and onion to add to the stock and cooking until they are soft. Which you can do if you want an even more delicious and rich stock.

Chicken Soup (best started first thing in the morning)

1 Whole Baking Chicken
3 Stalks of Celery Chopped
1 Onion Chopped
4 Carrots Peeled and Chopped
2 tbsp butter
2 Bay leaves
8 cups of Water
Salt (to taste)
Pepper (to taste)

1. Saute Onions, Celery, and Carrots in a large Stock pot in the butter.
2. Add the whole chicken(thawed, gizzards removed), water, and bay leaves. Salt and Pepper to taste (I generally add about a tsp of both and then add more at the end to taste). Add more water if needed to cover chicken.
3. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer. Cover and cook until the chicken is cooked
through. (about 2-3 hours...you can increase heat, but you will have to add more water
later). Taste the stock and add more salt and pepper to taste.
4. Remove chicken to a plate or bowl to cool.
5. Drain the stock into a bowl or another stock pot using a colander to separate the carrots,
celery, and onions (retain for later use but remove the bay leaves).
6. Place the stock in the freezer (if you've got room) or in the fridge and allow to cool (about 2
hours).
7. While stock is cooling remove the meat from the bones of the chicken and chop up. You
decide how chunky and how much meat you want in your soup. I sometimes take some of the
meat and save some to make chicken salad or serve the kids it alone.
8. Once the stock is cool you will notice that the fat will start to solidify on the top of the
liquid. You will need to spoon this off or use a towel to soak up the fat. I usually start by
spooning and then finally place some paper towels on the top to soak up the rest. (if doing
this over two days, skim the fat the first day, and then reboil the stock, then place in fridge
again and skim the next day.)
9. Return the stock to the burner, add the chopped chicken and the onions, carrots, celery you
set aside (note, that if you are doing this over two days you would throw out the first batch of
veggies and then chop the same amount and then you would throw them in with the stock and
cook until they are soft, then add the chicken...making sure you refrigerate the chicken over
night.) Heat over med. until chicken and veggies and stock all warm. Enjoy.

Egg Noodles

3 eggs
2 cups of all purpose flour

1. Beat eggs together in a large bowl
2. Add flour a little bit at a time until incorporated and using a dough hook or by hand knead until shiny smooth and form a ball.
3. Wrap in Saran wrap, set at room temp for at least 15 minutes.
4. Using either a pasta machine or rolling pin, separate the dough into to balls and then roll each one out until really really thin. Let set until hard enough to cut into thin strips for noodles.
5. Either cook in boiling water for about 5 minutes or allow to dry over chairs and then place in Tupperware in fridge. Once dry you will need to boil at least 8 minutes.

I would suggest you cut the noodles thin and in pieces for your soup.

Hiding Out

Hubby has started doing something I only wish I could do. He is hiding in bed. Of course I get up when the kids get up, but lately I have noticed Hubby wakes up and lays in bed watching shows on his computer. He is hiding. Of course this annoys me because I wouldn't even dare to think about it.

We have trained Cookie so well that she still lays in bed waiting for someone to come in and tell her she can get up. Of course she also yells, "Mommy the sun's on" and Jelly just cries out or talks until someone gets her. I often wonder how long it would take hubby to get out of bed and stop pretending to be asleep if I just ignored the kids in the morning. I have yet to get up the gumption to find out.

We like to joke sometimes when the kids are stressing one or both of us out that we are going out for cigarettes and milk. Sometimes it surprises me that Hubby comes back. I don't blame him for hiding out.

Won't you be my neighbor

I don't expect to be liked by everyone. In fact people either love me or hate me. I am not the kind of person you can say, "Oh, Ginger, she's alright." I tend to rub people the wrong way sometimes. I am too sarcastic, too upfront, and too talkative.

Sometimes there are people who just don't get my humor, who don't appreciate my blunt language, and people who just want me to shut up. If these people are strangers, or those I don't expect to see again, I can understand being ignored or even the cold shoulder. However, someone I have to see on a regular basis, someone I may have to deal with in regards to my kids, I would like to be friendly with. Whether or not I like them or they like me, a cordial friendliness is nice to have. I can fake it, I do so with the "perfect mom" all the time. We both have an unspoken understanding. We partake in a cool friendly chat it up conversation when we see each other. Cordial, polite, businesslike, acceptable. Our kids play together, our kids see each other, we make the best of it.

Recently we had some new neighbors move in. This development was exciting for me. I had just said goodbye to a really good friend. Cookie had to say goodbye to her buddies and we were both aching for people to fill the void. The new family is from California, like us and they are around Hubby's and my age. They have two kids; a son who is five and a daughter who is the same age as Cookie. It seemed that this might be a wonderful addition to our neighborhood. Finally someone my age. Finally another Mom going through the same stages I was. I love my neighborhood. I love my neighbors who are like surrogate moms for me and aunties for the girls, but having someone close to my age with a daughter Cookie could play with just seemed like providence. Ever hear of too good to be true?

We seemed to hit it off. The kids played nicely together, she seemed welcoming. I invited her to join me on a bike ride to playgroup and she accepted. Then things went south. I am not sure what I said, what I did, or what happened on that trip. But since then we have been given the cold shoulder. A nice cool reception awaited us when we popped over to play. At first I thought they just might be busy. Moving in, adding a porch, and fixing up their house. I thought maybe I came on too strong. So I gave them some space. Like a month of space.

Yet, after that month, she continually turned us down to play. Her children sat there begging to play, they were doing nothing but watching t.v., yet she always had an excuse. I don't have to be her friend, but I would like to be friendly, for the kid's sake. I know that I can't make everyone like me, but it is sad to see Cookie beg to ask if they can play, and I have to say no. I can not take the sad faces of not only Cookie, but the crying from her kids. The last time we went by, her daughter threw a tantrum so bad, her mom had to put her in the house and shut the door. We could hear her weeping, "But I want to go play."

The fixer in me wants to call and confront her. I want to ask what I did to offend her, if anything. I would like to make it right, not just for Cookie, but maybe for me, too. The practical part of me says to let it go. I have to live near this family and letting things lie might be better than making a big hababaloo about something that might be nothing. So I continue to tell Cookie, that no, we will wait for them to ask us over. And will continue to say hi and be cordial when they pass by the house. For now, the ball is in their court, even though it is killing me.