Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Silent Treatment

One of my hubby's ways to show he is displeased is to apply the silent treatment. I have not gotten it in a long time. I am not sure if his lack of silence is because he has grown up and has decided that adults do not fight that way, or if he realized that there is no way possible to remain silent in this house. Whatever reason, it is nice to no longer be on the receiving end of the deadly silent anger simmering under the surface, waiting until he was ready to blow and "discuss" whatever it was that was bothering him.

Lately though I have learned to be the silent one. Learned to pick my battles. Learned to keep my mouth shut and not discuss an annoyance. Hubby has called me on my "looks" a few times and does not like the shoe being on the other foot. And I have learned that the silent treatment holds much power. You are controlling when, where, and how a conversation will take place.

Once, when we were looking to buy something in L.A., we applied for a loan. The bank told me that because hubby had a couple "bad" things on his credit from 5 years before that the interest rate would be really high, because they assumed that as partners we would take on the other person's bad habits. My question was why couldn't you assume that since his credit had gotten better since we were living together that he took on my good habits. No answer for me there.

So here's a question, did we just learn each other's habits and adopt them? Or are we just growing up. Him learning to discuss his feelings, me learning that not every single feeling needs to be discussed?

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