Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Won't you be my Neighbor...part II

I am a lucky woman.  Very little in my life causes me much stress.  Not the all out crazy stress that working with people and students did.  But here are some recent things that keep me up at night.

1. sprinkler spouting like a fountain in the middle of the night and me worrying that it will not shut off and flood.

2.Forgetting to take the trash out so therefor at 1 a.m. I am outside dragging the container to the curb, despite the fact that we get up at 6 almost every single morning.  But it could be that one day my kid sleeps in until 7. 

3.A person I know finds peace and the help they need to be healthy.

4. My daughter starts Kindergarten and is in the same class as my neighbor's kid.  This is the same neighbor whom I tried to befriend and for whatever reason, she does not like me, my kid, or us.  Never did find out what the problem is.  We are cordial to each other.  Will engage in conversation occasionally while getting the mail, wave as we drive by, but in general ignore each other.  Yesterday was the official "find out who your teacher is" posting at school.  We walked on over to see Cookie's name in black in white, verify that she was on the right list for half day, and look at the names of her classmates, of whom we only know our neighbor.  Cookie was ecstatic to verify that neighbor's kid whom I will call "Sweetie" was in her class.  We like Sweetie, she is polite, plays well, and is a lot of fun, as she does have an older brother to learn from and copy cool things from.  Sweetie and family was also at the school to take a look.  Sweetie and Cookie run off on the playground together and play like old friends.  I play with Jelly and help her navigate some play equipment.  I say hi to the neighbor Mom, I'll just call her "Neighbor," to be respectful.   She is cordial, and when I say that I use the word exactly how it sounds.  She says 'Hi" back but there is no warmth in it.  Thus begins the Mommy Freeze Out.  Have you heard of this?  Well neighbor's oldest of course is going into 2nd grade.  She has made all the Mommy friends and connections at the school.  I am new.  As she was standing with another Mom, I went up to let her know that me and another Mom were starting a Daisy troop and Sweetie was more than welcome to join if they wanted.  Her and the other Mom were cordial..."We'll keep that in mind, but we already have a full plate."  Words were nice, body language was not.  I was not born yesterday, I know how to play the political game.  Did so for years successfully while teaching.  I do not want to have to do it, I want to enjoy my child's elementary school years.  I don't want to be too involved, but I don't want to be uninvolved.

So I am worried.  Worried that because neighbor obviously dislikes me, which normally would not bother me too much, that Cookie will negatively be affected.  Hubby does not get it.  He asked, "why does it bother you so much?  Fuck Her."  Here's the thing, women are evil, women can be cruel, women can and will freeze out my child, refuse to allow their children to invite her to parties or play because of me or I should say because of neighbor  Am I over reacting?  Maybe....but I have been around the block, I know and see what is happening.  I am hoping this woman is not too petty.  That whatever slight I made wasn't so bad that she would deny me and my child the ability to form our own life at the school in a positive way.  That I am seeing things that aren't there...


  1. Ooh boy. In general, when most people are rude, it's about THEM not about you. In some ways, your hubby is right. I absolutely think that you can let your Cookie do her thing--kids will like her! You have to come over for wine soon, let me take you out for your birthday!

  2. I wish I could tell you that it all goes away, but it just doesn't. Be the rock for your daughter...she's gonna need it.

  3. We had a neighbor who I was super nice to -- they kind of neglected their kid so we let him come over all the time -- and I'm pretty sure she thought we were child molesters or something. So suddenly they just shut us down cold and the kid just dropped off the radar. Either that or she finally decided she hated us because we're liberals.

    But I'm sorry about the neighbor. It sucks to be mean girled as an adult. It just feels so ridiculous.

  4. How wonderful that I found you today. Wonderful for me.


    I am sorry for the neighbor bullshit, but I have the same thing.

    I followed you here from my good friend, Tammy.

    The neighbor hates me, and has convinced the other neighbor to hate me, too. And now, for the past three years, my youngest son has to sit and watch the kid across the street play together, while he is alone in our backyard. Unless I bring his friends over or take him to a friend's house.


    Don't people know they're being cruel? THey must. And I think they enjoy it.

    What a sad way to be. So much anger. ANger kills.