Sunday, July 5, 2009
Friends are the Spice in Life
Maybe I should have started my blog with this entry. It is more appropriate. You see, I was inspired by Evolving Mommy to begin a blog. Her blog is witty, sweet, and full of inspiration. Mine probably will turn into rants and raves about hubby, Cookie, and life in general, but I am thankful to have Evolving Mommy as a friend.
Three years ago hubby and I uprooted ourselves and moved to Colorado. Literally leaving all of our friends and family behind in California. We believed and still do, that where we live is a better, safer place to raise a family. Of course, we had no idea that our family would get started quite so quickly. I had envisioned finding a teaching job. Making new friends with my colleagues and establishing a social base before kids. Fate, divine intervention, whatever, had other ideas. Two weeks after the move I was pregnant. Maybe it was the new house, the new bed, or the higher altitude. Or the fact that we chose not to use protection. (condoms work people). But, I was in a new town, a new state, and knew literally three people. My relator, my husband, and a good family friend who lived one town over.
Being pregnant is scary enough, but not having family or friends around to support you is terrifying. I busied myself preparing for baby and working as a substitute in the local district. Subbing is really a lonely job. Especially, when the schools don't really have teacher lunch rooms. So meeting friends at work was a fail.
I was thankful however, to have met some really nice neighbors who have since become a great network of information and trustworthy friends. But once Cookie came, I was no longer working, and I was desperately lonely.
So, I turned to the web. I went looking for mommy and me classes with the hope that I would connect with someone. I started mommy and me yoga, mommy and me stroller fit, mommy and me music. I failed to make any strong connections. And that hurt, other mommies were making connections setting up play dates and car pools. I was not sure if it was because I was a Californian, too pushy (which I can be), or these were not the mommies for me. I have never had too much trouble making friends, but I felt like I was in Junior high all over again. I really didn't want to join the local Mommy and me club, as I had my fill of politics. I did not want to pay dues, vote for presidents and secretaries, and go to meetings. I just wanted some friends for me and my daughter.
Not to be daunted, as I am anything but a quitter, I found a new local site run by the local newspaper trying to connect moms. So, I posted a cry for a playdate. And it was so desperate. I was going to be at a certain park between certain hours w/ a sign. It took me three weeks of sitting in the park alone with Cookie (who was 4 months and could do nothing but lay on a blanket), choosing different days and times before anyone came. I found myself snubbed by other moms who were regulars at the park in those three weeks, but I was determined. Eventually other moms came. And these women became my friends and my saviors. Together, I think we found kindred spirits. Most of us were non-locals. Most of us were fairly new to town, and almost all of us were stay-at-home moms who used to work. I have enjoyed getting to know these ladies. While we, as one large group, mostly still meet only once a week, some of us get together at other times, either as a whole group, in twos or threes, or with our individual families to enjoy a holiday or an outing. I trust them with Cookie, with my feelings, and am thankful everyday that someone answered my desperate cry for friends.
So, to my playgroup friends, thank you for not abandoning me and my crazy, sarcastic ways. Thank you for accepting my daughter and letting her play with your precious children, and thank you thank you for always listening to my rants and raves, either by e-mail or in person. You all have been my lifesavers. It has been three years and I hope we can make it another 20-30.
To my friends in California, I miss all of you and our monthly dinners. I miss my former colleagues who became friends and friday night drinking buddies. I miss the familiarity that comes with knowing someone forever. And I miss this connections that our children would have had if I had stayed in California.
For now, I am content. I have people who I love and love me and my family nearby. Maybe I am just sentimental because I am pregnant and thousand upon thousands of hormones are racing through me making me introspective. Whatever it is, Thank you to everyone, new and old friends for your support and love. Friends are the Spice in Life. Without them I would be adrift.