Guaranteed

I've learned that two things are guaranteed with kids: eight hours straight sleep is never to be known again and that they choose the most inopportune time to go to the restroom.

Cookie loves to choose moments to have her "moment" either right when we are eating dinner or when I am in the middle of frying something, in oil on the stove, that can not be left alone, or it will burn. Nothing curbs one's appetite faster than a BM from one's child. I really have gotten quite used to this phenomenon. Hubby on the other hand has a hard time dealing with it. Cookie's announcement, "I'm pooping" during dinner illicits all kinds of groans and comments from him. "Disgusting" or "I think I'm done now." followed by the throwing down of the fork and his getting up from the table drives me mad. I don't want her to develop any negative feelings regarding potty use. But Hubby turns into the boy that makes all kinds of bathroom humor or comments. Thinks like "Pee Yew, that's smelly." "What died in there" etc. will be offered.

As to sleep, well, it does seem as if the kids have a super secret pact to keep me from enjoying eight hours straight. I say me, since Hubby seems to have acquired a deaf ear to the night time crying. If Jelly Bean sleeps well, Cookie is up three times. And I know that as they get older, I will have sleepless nights waiting and worrying when they are out.

I know that in the scheme of things these problems go away too fast. But, one day I will get my revenge. I will vacuum in front of their teenage rooms at seven A.M. "accidentally" hitting their doors. I will mow the lawn at eight. And I will embarrass them in front of boys. As for wiping poopy butts....well, hopefully they will make me a grandmother and they will have their own kids behinds to clean.

YOU DID IT!!

40 years is a long time. Think about it. Four decades with the same person. My parents have done it. Two people who walked down the isle after only knowing each other 9 months, have managed to defy the odds and stay together....and still like each other. You did it! Congrats to you Mom and Dad.

You sacrificed for us kids, borrowed on the house, refinanced, went into credit card debt just for us. Whether it was to pay for a wedding or hospital bill, you did it! You have successfully raised three children, whom I might add, have all earned college degrees. You did it, and you did it together. There were times while growing up that I thought for sure divorce would be eminent, but you did it! Sure you drive each other crazy, you each have those little quirks that have become increasingly annoying to the point of intolerance, but you did it!

I wish we could afford to send you to some far off wonderful exotic place to celebrate and thank you for your love, understanding, and tolerance. Becoming a parent myself has helped me understand the sacrifices you have made. It has also made me wish I could go back and pay more attention. More attention to how you did it. How you Mom, managed to make it look easy. Make us feel loved and appreciated and special. Or to go back and have more patience with Dad's silly comments at the wrong time. Or understand his ability to get up and go to a job he hated day in and day out in order to put food on the table. But the two of you did it! You became my Brownie leader, coached soccer, worked snack bars, umpired and referred games, went to open houses and back to school nights (even to the point of calling out our teachers and their policies much to our embarrassment). You did it all.

Thank you for being great parents and human beings. You have exemplified high morals and right actions. You taught us how to work hard and aim high. But most of all you have loved us and taught us how to love. You did it!

Congrats, this Sunday you will have made it 40 years. Go ahead and give each other a high five. You did it!

Updates

So here are some updates just in case you were wondering.

1. I did get that $35 check from the swing people, and it was good. I sent them a thank you card and the Goodwill receipt.

2. I was wrong, our phone service at AT&T ends this month, not August

3. I tried the park again, but this time Jelly Bean slept, so it was easier. I also went another time and had to nurse, found that taking Cookie to the right park is key. One where I don't have to be there to help her, and one not too big.

4. Not getting a lot of sleep lately and found my patience for Cookie at an all time low. Good thing Hubby's post pardom is over, nothing worse than not being able to have your own post baby blues because your partner is having the break down. It still angers me that he gets naps when I don't. Kids' naps are just not lining up....he could at least take Cookie when Jelly Bean is napping.

5. I have packed more errands into a day w/ two than I did w/ just one. And I hate going grocery shopping w/ two.

Neighbors!

When we went looking for a house and a neighborhood, I had hoped that we might find something as wonderful as the neighborhood I grew up in. Where the kids played in the street and the adults had cook outs and conversations in their front yards. It did have the requisite freaks, the child molester next door (he liked high school boys and went to jail) and the druggie and thief across the street. But they all moved away. I had hopes for neighbors that I could ask for a up of sugar, or someone to feed the dog when we went away.

Lucky for us we have really really good neighbors. Good, trustworthy people. People who not only have taken care of Pongy, but Cookie as well. I have a group of ladies who dote on my kids. Not only do they give me a break and watch Cookie, they do it for free! While I would never let the kids play in the very busy street here, the neighborhood is all I could have hoped for.

But, (there is always a but) sometimes neighborliness comes with some drawbacks. For instance, the substitute "grandparents" need just as much help with electronics as the real ones do. Whether t.v., cable, computer, or internet, they have no qualms about asking Hubby for help. Which is about once a week. Then there is the Widow, whose dying husband asked Hubby to help his wife when he was gone. So, hubby helps her out with little home repair and the like. Not to mention the sidewalks for both that he helps shovel during winter. But they do babysit for free, so really a fair exchange of services for the most part.

Last week the Widow kinda crossed the helping neighbor out line and asked if she could use our wireless network. And not just a one time thing, but an all the time thing. She said she was cancelling her Internet, and since Hubby's work paid for ours, what was the big deal? Firstly, Hubby's work pays for ours not the whole neighborhoods'. And Secondly, really? I see her come home for lunch in the city's truck. Can I borrow it? I mean they pay for it and everything, what's the big deal? The sad thing is, she seemed really annoyed that Hubby said no. I hope that this does not make things too awkward between us, because Cookie loves her, her cat, and frankly, I like having her to talk to. I would miss the friendship we have.

There are good neighbors, great neighbors, and sometimes bad. I hope our great neighbor doesn't become a bad one.

Thomas

I am sure every Mom has it. The one toy of their child's that they hate, the toy they pray will brake or get left somewhere forever. Cookie has this one toy she absolutely loves and adores. It is one of the many she sleeps with, but belongs to the select few that get brought along with her in the car. If it was a plush toy like her Curious George, I would not mind so much, but it is a plastic pull dog she named "Thomas".

Thomas was purchased at one of our Goodwill visits. I must say that we have gotten our $2.00 worth out of him. But Thomas drives me nutty. At first it was the fact that he barked, "woof woof woof, woof,...woof woof woof" the same pattern. Cookie found much glee in this new form of torment Mom and Dad. Then there is Thomas's weight. He is heavy and awkward to carry. This led to Cookie dropping him numerous times. Which did in fact cause some breakage...all fixable by super glue and Daddy. But, the loss of batteries was a nice result. He is also noisy. His movable roller feet knock around. This would not be so bothersome if she didn't sleep with Thomas, thus waking when she rolls or kicks him.

I know, I know I stupidly bought the toy for her. But I seriously thought the glamor would wear off and she'd move on to something else. The toy was bought in April and she is still dragging (literally) Thomas everywhere. I make her leave him in the car, but she likes to bring him in her baby stroller or pull him when we visit with the neighbors. I hate Thomas, but Cookie adores her little playmate. He's the closest thing she has to a real dog. In fact when people ask if we have a dog at home, Cookie says yes, "Thomas". So for now, I put up with Thomas, because frankly, he's a whole lot better than Pongy.

The Having More Than One Dilema

Going into this two kids thing has been pretty much what I expected. Cookie has thrown some good tantrums the last three weeks. But they have gotten fewer. One unexpected bonus has been Cookie's sudden acceptance of peeing in the potty. She now wants to sit on the big potty, and wants privacy. She has actually taken ownership of it.

I have figured out how to give Cookie a bath and nurse. I have managed to put Cookie to bed while dealing with Jelly Bean. And I can go grocery shopping with both in tow. But one thing alludes me and it put me to tears the other day. After picking up the first swing in Greeley, I stopped by a park we had passed to let Cookie run off some energy and to nurse Jelly Bean. And I couldn't do both. I couldn't help Cookie climb the equipment, or negotiate a difficult task while nursing Jelly Bean. I couldn't run after Cookie up the hill or chase birds with her. Things we did in the past. Cookie was good natured about it, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. She lost her best friend and playmate. And I have lost that sweet little girl who trusted that her Mamma would be there to catch her no matter what. Now I am on a bench, nursing Jelly Bean yelling, "no don't climb that, it's too high" instead of helping her. So I cried. Cried that I couldn't give both my girls everything they both needed at the same moment. I am pretty sure that as they grow there will be many more moments where I have to decide who needs what the most. But it doesn't hurt any less to know that I am doing the best I can for both of them and it is still not enough.

It takes all kinds

So after the last swing fiasco, I decided to give Craigslist one more try. Hubby just wanted to go and buy a new swing. But, I found an even better one and I offered the girl only $10 more than the other swing cost. It was $15 less than she was asking, but she put in OBO, so if it didn't work out, then we'd go and get a new swing.

The seller accepted my bid and called me early this morning to arrange pick=up/drop-off. She said she had a meeting in town and she could drop it by. I suggested we meet at the local restaurant her meeting was at, since the girls and I were going to playgroup. (something I need to go to for me and Cookie). The girl said the swing did not have batteries in it since it also plugs in. I asked how many and what size, I would bring them, but I wanted to make sure the thing worked. Agreed. She did try to get me to go up in price, I refused. She then said that two of the Mobile toys were missing, but they had ordered more of them for $8 and she thought I should pay for them at least. I told her I really didn't care about the Mobile toys that all I wanted was something that went back and forth, so if she wanted to sell to someone else who was willing to pay more, then no problem. She replied, that she still wanted to sell to me.

So, I showed up on time to said restaurant, and two minutes later got a call from seller. She said she was on her way, but meeting had been changed to another restaurant down the street. I said I'd be glad to go there. Five minutes later we meet. Swing looks good, but seller says," do you happen to have a screwdriver? I forgot that I needed one for the batteries." Ummm, no I do not have a screwdriver, but if I was in Hubby's car I most likely would have had one. We tried to get them off w/ keys, but they were on too tight. Ten minutes later, I am still struggling to remove the battery cover. I tell her, "look if I can't tell if it works, then this is not a sale. You can sell to someone else if you prefer." She starts to panic, "maybe you can just buy it and if it doesn't work, e-mail me and I will give you your money back." I respond, "that's not good for me. Maybe said restaurant has an outlet out front we can use to plug this thing in." I look, they do. We drive the cars to the front of the building, plug it in and it works. Deal is made, money exchanged. She tells me that she will let me know when she gets the toys and we can arrange a pick-up or mail. I told her "no worries, no big deal. Thanks" It is now 30 minutes later than meet time. We go our separate ways.

Fast forward two hours I get the following e-mail:

i talked to my fionce and he said that because we sold the swing so cheap that you would have to order the mobile toys and he's gonna cancel the order, or you can buy those for the price of them and shipping. he said that the swing was in great condition and was sold for less than half of what we paid 5months ago. so i'm sorry i didn't let you know when i saw you, he just called me and let me know this. so i have your money so if this changes your mind let me know and i can give you your money back.
if you have any questions you can call me
thanks
becky

My reply:

I really do not need the extra mobile toys. These are one of the things that happens when one purchases off of Craigslist, which is why I was so adamant about checking to see if the swing actually worked. Your Fiance can rest easy, you will not be out the shipping and price of them. Besides, I can put any toy on the mobile.

She then responded:

he said that if you paid near what it was worth he wouldn't have cancelled his order. but i understand why he did. and i knew the swing worked and was worth more than what you paid, plus i was late to a real important meeting, and that didn't even bother you, that shows what kinda person you are. enjoy the swing.

It took a lot to not respond again. I mean really, I gave her two opportunities to back out...I even told her I did not care about those frickin toys. And I did show care about her "important meeting" I drove to the new site, which was I was told when I got there changed back to the other restaurant, I tried to end the sale when we couldn't get the battery thing opened. And who shows up for an "important meeting" with their 9 month old wearing jeans and a t-shirt? And I will enjoy the swing, which we did in fact get for a really good price. But she accepted it! And I am glad she knew the swing worked, but I didn't! It takes all kinds.

I am not completely turned off by this experience because I have a bunch of wonderful success stories. But I will be careful to meet in public places and not my home, as I don't want these crazy people to come and find me.

buyer beware

I love Craigslist. Whenever I have needed something, I have found it...for the price I wanted to pay too. I've generally had great luck with the sellers. Honest people trying to offload their unwanted crap. So I decided to Craigslist again for a used baby swing. Why pay $100 plus for something I can get used for $40? After searching through a couple swing postings, I contacted a seller whose price and swing were agreeable. The only down side was the location. A good 45 minute drive. But the poster seemed honest, giving me her number and address.

So I drove to Greeley w/ both kids in tow. By all appearances the swing was great. Clean at least. But the batteries were dying and I wasn't quite sure if it worked. The girl assured me it did. She was young, living in a single wide trailer on the outskirts of town. I thought, well if it doesn't work w/ new batteries lesson learned. And maybe her kid gets a nice winter coat out of it.

Consider lesson learned. The swing did not swing w/ new batteries, but the music, much to the delight of Cookie, works great. I e-mailed the seller w/ a thanks but you suck message. Her husband called, and apologized and offered me a refund. He's sending a check...only time will tell if i get said check, and if it clears. But maybe there are some honest people out there.

Cell Service

I hate our cell service provider. We have been loyal paying on time customers for 12 years. When we moved to Colorado, we had decent reception at our house. Bonus, we thought. Not so, our reception in the last two years has gotten worse and worse. Now we barely get a signal. Calls are dropped frequently and holding a conversation is difficult. The only reason we have stayed with At&T is because my family has them as their provider also. This has allowed us to call each other for no extra charge. However, my husband's business depends on him being able to communicate with others, and he can not do so on our current service. We have placed calls to the company inquiring as to why our reception is so poor. They claim that we in fact are in one of their best service areas. If this is a fact, I would hate to be in a poor area. Hubby asked if we could be released from our contract three months early due to the poor reception we have been getting on our phones. I mean, why are we paying for a service that we can not use? The company refused to release us...saying the only way out was to pay the $350.00 per phone line fee!!! So we have waited patiently, calling people back over and over again to finish a conversation, texting (and paying the extra fees there, since we are not on a text plan) the announcement of our daughter's birth in order to avoid any miscommunication, and apologizing to friends, family, co-workers, and business associates for our poor cell service.

Well our service is up at the end of the month and we could not be happier. One more thing, AT&T did us an even worse disservice. Hubby called to make it known that we will be ending our contract with them on the 23rd....and they told him that despite the fact that our contract ends on the 23rd we have to pay until the end of the month!!!! Say what? My bills are dated the 23rd of every month. But, we have to pay for an extra week. No explanation as to why this is other than, "that's our policy". While the I-Phone is really cool and neat, we would rather have a blackberry than deal with this asinine company. We are switching to Verizon. Only time will tell if the service is better, but I am betting from my neighbor's phone, the nurse's phone at the hospital, and everyone else I have spoken to who have Verizon, the cell service is great. Customer service blows, but at least we will be able to finish a conversation.

In Your Face

Hubby recently decided to try Facebook. After numerous mockings and exclamations of how lame it was, hubby relented to peer pressure. His best bud talked him into it. I wish I could say it was me, but no, sometimes a man will listen to his guy friends before the "little woman."

Hubby never has been good about keeping friends. Not that he is unlikable, it is quite the opposite, actually. People generally scramble to be his friend, Hubby just has issues stemming from moving around a lot as a kid. Since having kids, he has decided that people are not so disposable. Nothing prepared him for the onslaught of emotions Facebook would bring up.

Reconnecting with one's past can be quite painful for many of us. It can bring up all those old high school insecurities and emotions. For hubby reacquainting himself with an old co-worker brought about all kinds of feelings he was unprepared for. About eight years ago we attended this co-workers wedding. I remember it vividly. It was on a hill looking over the ocean. The bride wore a beautiful flowing gauzy dress and had flowers in her hair. I recall thinking how beautiful and simple the whole ceremony was. The reception was fun with a live band playing all kinds of music. The favors were tiny sea shells with a tea light in them wrapped up in tulle. Why I can recall this wedding so clearly is beyond me. I had never met either the bride or the groom, but I know that attending the wedding was a milestone for me and hubby. It was the first time he took me to a function and introduced me to his colleagues and friends. So the fact that my hubby reconnected with the groom, his ex-coworker and found out the bride had passed away was a great shock. She was 41, they had a young child, and she died suddenly. The thought that we are now at that age, where the unthinkable can happen was overwhelming. Where we have children who can become motherless or fatherless. We as parents never want to think about what horrible, horrific things could happen to our children came smacking hubby in the face. Facebook is great at connecting people. It is also a window into the reality of life and death, joy and sorrow. For my hubby's friend, the world crashed. For my hubby, his exterior walls have been cracked....not broken, but cracked. Thanks Facebook.

Labor and Delivery

I am just getting acquainted with my new little Jelly Bean. And I am of course contemplating what she is going to be like. What if I were able to figure out what her personality will be based solely on the tenor of my labor and delivery? Or maybe just the whole pregnancy?

Follow my reasoning for just a moment. In the womb, Jelly Bean was exceptionally mellow. A little push or a little nudge her or there, but nothing to forceful. Just sweet reminders that she was there and doing okay. Contrasty, Cookie was a force to be reckoned with. She would punch and kick me until actual bruises would show up slightly under the skin. Nettling me, that would be Cookie, she just pushes and pushes to see how far she can take things.

Labor with Cookie was also intense from the get go. Contraction on top of contraction. She came into this world just as she approaches life, full of vim and vigor. Cookie is headstrong, running from one interest to the next. Her delivery was just as quick, ten minutes and she was out. The midwife barely made it into the room on time.

Now Jelly Bean took things nice and slow. Keeping me from going to bed with little contraction followed by a nice loll, to another contraction. I waited four hours before waking hubby up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital. I had been timing them, and for all appearances they were 5 minutes apart for over an hour. By the time we got to the hospital at 4 a.m.....the contractions began to become unpredictable. Three in a row....nothing for 5-7 minutes. And the midwife kept coming in over the next two hours commenting on how we were just too mellow. So does this mean extreme moodiness? A slow to anger simmering waiting volcano of emotion...and then BOOOOM......then a calm. Of course Cookie's water broke an hour into labor, whereas w/ Jelly Bean, the midwife had to break it so we could get things rock-in-and a rollin. And the contractions albeit stronger, more intense, and frankly, I think worse than Cookies, continued to come in small and then intense threes. Delivery itself was harder and longer. 45 minutes of intense pushing. My midwife had no problems getting there this time.

So, am I going to be graced with a little Leo? Mellow, easy going, and then sudden bursts of emotion. Only time will tell. But one thing I am glad, is that I have a healthy baby. And that I chose to have my children drug free. Good things come to those who have to work hard. And labor and delivery is hard work.

Ode to Pong

Anyone who knew me and Hubby when we lived in L.A., knew about our evil Shih Tzu, Pong. He was truly a bad dog. But I loved the little shit...tzu. If you have ever seen the dog whisperer with Cesar Milan, than you understand what I am talking about when I say that Pong was in "the red zone" 99% of the time. He did not like people, and I think he tolerated Robert. He of course loved me, but would not flinch at biting me if he felt wronged in any way shape or form. More times than I can count did that dog attempt to attack someone. He was the typical yippy dog. He would attack your feet, your hands if they were near him, and he would not relent.

We tried everything to get the dog to behave better. Longer and more frequent walks, diet change, and of course the Cesar Milan method. His behavior slightly improved when we moved to Colorado, but he was still evil. We worked diligently with Pongy for 9 years, as I am a true believer that animals are not to be thrown away. That I had made a pact with this dog when I took him, that I would care for him and he would be part of my family.

Making the decision to get rid of my Pongy was not an easy one, but it had to be done. When Cookie came along, the dog was on edge constantly, more so than normal. We did everything to try and help the dog adjust to the addition of a baby. And I mean everything. But there came a day, the fateful day when Cookie was 11 months old, that I had to face facts, Pongy and children were not going to work together. I did not want to risk Cookie, who loved him and all dogs, getting bit. I mean Cookie's first word was "dog dog". But our evil dog who would attack you if you walked by him and he was startled, or in a bad mood, was not a happy boy. And we were not happy either. The stress was intense between us and the dog. Needless to say there was an incident between Pong and Charlotte regarding a cracker, I managed to grab him in the process of trying to attack her, got bitten, and he was thrown down the basement stairs. I contacted the Shih Tzu rescue of Denver that night.

The lady at the rescue made me feel horrible. Like I was abandoning my dog and was not doing enough to make it work. I already had remorse and guilt up the yin yang, but my child's safety came first. Not to mention the dog's. I mean, I threw him down the stairs!!! But, she agreed to take him that week-end. I cried the entire drive into Denver (an hour), but once we signed the paper work giving up ownership and placed him in his new foster home's car, there was nothing but relief. He was stressed, we were stressed, no one was happy, except perhaps Cookie.

I miss having a dog. I miss the familiarity of a canine companion greeting you like a god when you come in the door. Having a dog is a small deterrent to robbers. And of course Cookie constantly talks about getting a dog. She says things like "when we get my doggy". I told her she has to be at least 5 before we get a dog, I want her and #2 to understand that animals have feelings, that they are to be treated well. And of course, I want to be done with diapers before I take on more poop.

My neighbor has two yappy chihuahuas. They are just as bad if not worse than Pongy ever was. The difference is, my neighbor has done nothing to fix their behavior. She coddles them and pets them when they try to attack someone. I hate her dogs. They yap at everyone who walks by, and frankly I now understand what people felt toward my evil little Pongy. I would like to believe that he is off running around in a beautiful back yard and loved by some little old lady. But really they probably had to put my poor angry little beast down. Our pets are our family, and sometimes I feel I let Pongy down, but really I would have been remiss to allow such an evil little dog around my children. Inevitably he would have bitten one of them, leaving them scared for life. Hopefully when we manage to get past the horror that was Pong and take the Pooch plunge again, it will go better.

#1 toilet paper changer

Have you ever had the feeling that you alone are the only person that changes the toilet paper roll? I get that feeling all the time. We have four bathrooms in our house and I once changed the roll in all four in one day. All FOUR were empty. While there are only two of us who really use the T.P. or can actually change it. Hubby just doesn't. He will leave the roll completely empty. Or my favorite, on little itty bitty piece so he can claim there was some left on it. He uses T.P. once maybe twice a day, being a guy, so when it is out, I just don't think he thinks to change it. In the great scheme of things, his failure to change the roll is nothing but a mild inconvenience. I've just learned to keep my bathrooms well stocked with T.P. that is in easy reach to change while sitting on the toilet.

But there are times that I think I am the lone T.P. changer where ever I go. The doctor's office, a friends house, a department store, I have changed the roll more times than I can count. Maybe I am a little anal retentive when it comes to making sure the T.P. is actually on the roll and not just sitting on top of the T.P. dispenser. Really though, it's about sanitary conditions. Who wants to use a loose roll of T.P. knowing that it has been possible that it has been rolling around on some public restroom's floor. Yuk! So for those of you who are lazy T.P. people, take the extra minute and put the stupid roll in the dispenser for cleaner bottoms everywhere. Or just my sanity.

Sympathy pain

Hubby suffers from sympathy pregnancy symptoms. I am serious. He gains weight, has all kinds of cravings, and even suffers from some of the same stomach ailments that plague us pregnant women. This can been seen as sweet, funny, and even mildly annoying. Annoying when one is so tired all you want to do is crawl into the fetal position and pass out from exhaustion, leaving your toddler in your partner's capable hands, but said hubby is also not sleeping well, and has passed out before you were able to hand off the parenting baton. Sweet, as it makes him a little more apt to be sympathetic to my ailments.

So here I am, so tied I want to cry, my toddler refuses to nap because she overheard a conversation on the phone that we may or may not get to see her favorite friends after naptime today, and hubby is passed out in the basement after a fitful night of not sleeping. Hubby came to bed as Cookie and I were getting up. So, once again, I am overheated, overtired, and overly pregnant, with yet, another day of no relief.

I am not sure that those who have not been pregnant understand what the "due date" actually means. It is one of those goals that we all strive to meet, but never want to go over. If we are slightly earlier than said "due date" awesome. If we go beyond, someone needs to pay. We are not sure who, but I think everyone who comes in contact with us pays with our misery. I didn't realize how anxious I was to get to 38 weeks, 2 days because that was when Cookie decided to grace us with her presence. I was not sleeping, hubby still is not sleeping, and even Cookie could feel the tension. Well the date has come and gone, and there is some kind of relief knowing that #2 is doing her own thing.

In the womb Cookie was brutal. She used to beat me up to the point that you could see bruises on my abdomen. I would actually get angry at her, the kicks were so strong and painful. It is no wonder that Cookie came out early. Before putting her in a toddler bed, Cookie would yell to get "Out Out" and now she just jiggles her door handle yelling it. I think she was saying the same thing in the womb. #2 is blessedly mellow. She kicks and squirms and pushes, but rarely do her movements hurt me like Cookie's did. So I am thinking, Cookie was so discontent in the womb, therefore, she came early. #2 is blissfully content in there, so will she come closer to 40 weeks? Maybe 41? I am amazed at how ones body prepared them for the lack of sleep that is coming. But right now, in this moment, I am annoyed at hubby for getting to nap, while I am struggling to stay awake, because Cookie can't sleep.

Green Living

After we had Cookie, I really wanted to start living a more economical, cleaner, less wasteful life. I started making Cookie's food, breast fed the first 13 months, switched to a better laundry detergent, and put Cookie in cloth diapers. We were also only driving one car. When weather permitted, I rode my bike, pulling Cookie behind me in the bike trailer. But, there are some things I have been reluctant to give up or have failed at miserably.

First, we bought a mini-van last month. I love it. It makes life so much easier than driving my husbands manual Subaru WRX. While his car is fun to drive, it is hard to get kids in and out, not to mention the lack of trunk space for all that baby stuff like a stroller. So we now have two cars. And one only gets 19 miles to the gallon!!!

Second, Cookie refused to wear the cloth diapers at 18 months. She is in panties and has been for a while, but we still put her in disposables for nap and bedtime. I hate disposables, but they do hold more wet, and when your child is a heavy wetter and wakes up at 2 in the morning because the cloth diaper is soaked through and all you want to do is sleep, disposables seem wiser and easier. So part of the reason Cookie decided that Cloth was not acceptable was that the disposables had Sesame Street on them. I am not much of a name brand person, but when it comes to diapers, I have tried many and Pampers have worked best for us. The character tie in drives me nuts. Cookie wants to know what character is on the diaper I am putting her in. She has her favorite, Zoe, and her least favorite, Elmo. In fact, there have been some two year old tears over not having the right character on the diaper. She has some other quirks w/ diapers which may be a good topic for tomorrow. Anyway #2 will be in disposables until her cord comes off and she fits into the cloth All-In-Ones. Disposables may come back as she starts to sleep longer at night.....for her well being and mine:)

And last but not least is our excessive use of paper towels. I will use a hand towel most of the time after I wash my hands or do dishes in the kitchen and in the bathroom. I also used cloth wipes for Cookie at meals to wipe her down....until about 18 months, then it was the Sam's Club wipes. I am ashamed to admit that I love using wipes, they are so convenient and easy. Not to mention, Cookie loves to use them. But I am not the real culprit of the paper towel wastage. It is hubby. We literally go through almost a roll a day. He loves to use paper towels. For some reason he will not wash his hand in the bathroom after use, but uses the kitchen sink when on the main floor. He will then dry his hands w/ said paper towels and then, this is the kicker, leaves the used, wet paper towel sitting on the kitchen counter. He has yet to make an effort to place them in the trash can. One day he came to an amazing epiphany as he was leaving, yet another used towel on the counter, that he was being a jerk, not placing the towel in the trash can, but leaving it for me to clean up. Do you think he has changed? NO. But at least he recognized what an ass he was being. Anyway, in a previous post I posted a pick of hubby w/ Cookie making play dough. I also posted the kitchen after he was done making the play dough. A huge portion of the mess was the pile of used paper towels. Literally half a roll! He loves them, and while I would love to attempt to switch completely to cloth kitchen wipes, I think hubby just may rebel.

So, Colorado living has made us a little bit more Eco conscious. But we are far from being "Green". Maybe one day we will be able to get over some of those bad habits like paper towels, my swifer wet jet disposable cleaning wipes, and the two car household. But for now, we do what we can.

Brain Fart

Have you ever had a brain fart? It happens to me all the time. I was going to do something and then forget what it was when I leave the room. I meticulously clip coupons make a list for the grocery store, only to leave it all at home. Well that is what happened with today's blog. Major brain fart.

I had something well written in my head as I was making dinner, and then poof it was gone. I am pretty sure it was brilliant beyond compare. Everyone would ooh and ahh over my insight. Really I can't remember what it was. It is driving me insane. Of course many things happened since dinner was being prepared. I served Cookie and hubby, we ate dinner (interrupted by not one, but two potty breaks for Cookie), clean-up time (dinner and toys), bath time, picture time, bed time (hubby fell asleep on the couch after dinner, gave him bedtime reprieve), and then I sat down to write and it was gone.

I tried the, go back to where you had the thought, and nothing. Really what was it? It must not have been that great if I can't even remember what the topic was. Maybe I am just so preoccupied with the whole when is this baby going to come that my brain isn't really functioning at tip top level. Maybe tomorrow it will come back to me.

Thousand Words Thursday

How long will this last? My very helpful little girl

I've been outsmarted by my 2 year old

Cookie has nightmares. Mostly when she is sick or after shots, but sometimes she will have a bout of them. Night after night of waking and screaming. So as any mother might do, I turned to my mom for advice. She suggested that as I am putting Cookie to bed I tell her that under no circumstances is she to dream about dogs or cats, or whatever I think she would really love to dream about. Of course I followed her suggestion and had good results.

So what's the problem? Nothing really, it is now a game of course. Cookie says, "No dream about????" and I have to fill in the blank every night, and now sometimes throughout the day. As cute as this game is, I have discovered how devious my 2 year old is. For example last night, I said, "No dreaming about bikes." Cookie responded, "But I can dream about wheels and pedals." I kid you not. She was quite smug when she made this pronouncement. Hubby said he told her she couldn't dream about flowers. Cookie asked what color flowers. He said, "yellow". She responded, "I can dream about orange flowers and blue flowers."

While we find these responses creative and kinda cute.....we also think that this just a prelude to tough times ahead with this little girl. She already is so independent, willful, and kinda devious. Maybe she will be a lawyer who discovers loop holes in the law. Or maybe a white collar criminal who finds loop holes to break the law. As it is, at age 2, Cookie is finding loop holes in our play and in rules at home. "Don't stand on that table" can be interpreted literally, instead she will sit on it, "not standing on it" she will exclaim with a smile. I know that she knows that it is not okay to sit on it, but until I tell her not to, she will do it. I'm just glad hubby was just as devious, he usually can see the wheels in her head turning before I can. I just hope I can instill some honesty in this not so honest little person before I release her into the world. I definitely will not be that mom who tells the teacher, "My child would never lie."

Why I am jealous of my sister

There is something I must admit, something that will make my sister very very giddy. I am a little jealous of her. You see, she is a working Mom. While that is not the part that I am jealous of per se, I am envious of her ability to find little ways to pamper herself. There are numerous postings to facebook by her with phrases like "off to yoga" or "getting a pedicure" and "out for drinks w/ the girls." These activities are relics of my past, little things that at the time, were every week occurrences in my life.

I sometimes refer to the time before Cookie as "BB", before baby. Many of us Stay-at-home-Moms have trouble getting away. We are with our kids literally 24/7. The idea of leaving them with a sitter to get a manicure is just not there. My sister has her kids in daycare, therefore, if she gets out of work a little early, she has some time to herself, to go shopping without kids in tow, get a manicure, get a haircut, go to a yoga class, or have a drink with a friend. Her sitter is going to get paid regardless if my sister is two hours early or on time. Us SAH moms rarely leave our little beans with anyone during the day. We drag them to doctor's appointments, the grocery store, and to the park (for a round of run w/ jogger).

Today, a friend and I went and got pedicures. It was a lot of maneuvering on both our parts to make sure our hubby's had the time to watch our kids, makings for dinner was provided, and that we had an appointment, so we would not be home too late. It was nice to get a little pampered and to relax for an hour. At the end, we both commented on how we should do it again, and how we would have liked to have a little more time, but both husbands were anxious to have us home in time for dinner and little one's bedtime.

I am not complaining. I am just stating that for us SAH moms, our reality is a lot different than working moms. We are lucky to be able to see our children grow and make all of those little leaps and bounds as they are happening. We have a better ability to control what our children consume both physically and mentally throughout their day. But one thing many of us fail in doing is taking care of ourselves. After my hour of relaxation, I felt a little less stressed and harried. Just like our marriages, and our responsibilities as parents, taking care of ourselves is a work in progress. But, we must remember to take the time and work on each of them.

So to my sister, I salute you and your ability to take that time. I am jealous of your yoga bending, alcohol drinking, adult socializing time. Enjoy every minute of it, because there are those of us who just can't figure out how to have it all.

Power of Positive thinking

Once in a job review I was told I was too negative. I apparently always had a comment regarding something. Actually what it meant was that I questioned authority way too much. Whenever changes were made to policies I asked why the new way was better. Was it more efficient, did it save money, or was someone just making policy to prove they had purpose in the company? I guess the history major in me would not bow down to the corporate machine. I took this "constructive criticism" to heart and tried to be more positive. I actually found myself stumbling to be more upbeat and not complain or make "negative" sarcastic comments. The next staff meeting I met my first real positive challenge. We had a new V.P. of operations. I found myself muttering, "oh great what new changes does this lady have" and then remembered my review and tagged on, "she is sure to have some good ideas, being from such a larger company and having such an extensive background." I even managed to keep the sarcasm at bay. My manager actually commented on how my attitude was what she expected from everyone regarding the change.

Another time, my friend and I were traveling with Job's Daughters and were under the guidance of a woman who we did not necessarily like too much. We decided that we would try and be more like Pollyanna, "We'll gladly do it" became our mantra. Even when said woman decided that on the way home, after a long week-end of screaming girls, little sleep, and a 3 1/2 hour drive ahead that we would stop at her mother-in-laws and hour out of the way because it had a nice view of the the Sacramento River, we kept smiles on our faces and chanted "we'll be glad to go." And I think we had a better time because we refrained from that negativity that can bring you down.

This topic has been on my mind lately and it is a little ironic that there is a great article in Good Housekeeping this month about the power of positive thinking. You see, I am a miserable pregnant person. I tend to dwell on all of the uncomfortable things about pregnancy. The bloating, nausea, headaches, blah blah blah blah blah.....So as I near the end, I am trying to think about all of the kicks and bumps number two is giving me and find pleasure and joy in how amazing it all is. Really being able to create a life and carry a baby to term is amazing. Soon, we will have this living, breathing person, and they came from me! It is hard to not be negative when sleep is illusive, comfort is very little, and one's body is huge and tired. But, I will make an attempt, because I owe it to myself, my husband, and Cookie. And really 3 weeks is not that long, I want number two to be healthy and if that means she stays cooking in the oven for 4 more weeks, so be it. I'll gladly do it.